Observations From A Shrinking Perspective

I once overheard a couple of colleagues talking in the staff room. I’ll call them Colleague 1 and 2. Colleague 2 was just listening while Colleague 1 was apparently on a soapbox about the value of teaching P.E. to his students.  Now mind you, Colleague 1 is not a dumbass.  He’s a brilliant man, very athletic and pretty well rounded.  He’s simply not the stereotypical dumb educator who is a sports has been and went into education so he could coach.  No, this guy really is top of the gene pool when it comes to smarts, so when he spoke, I usually listened, in this case, I blatantly eavesdropped. 

To the best of my recollection, Colleague 1 was saying that sports, fitness, coordination and the success of a child in this area was a huge confidence boost to the child.  For example, he mentioned the situation where he compared the brightest least athletic kid in the class to the not so bright but athletic kid.  Who’s generally the more confident?  You don’t usually hear the bright kid saying after a losing a round of basketball, “Hey, I can wipe your butt in reading though!”  No, you usually hear the athletic kid saying, “Yeah, maybe you read better than I do, but come out here on court and I’ll kick your ass!”

Athletic ability has a certain measure of self confidence as a by-product.  Now, this could be in part because American culture values entertainment over education and athletic prowess is an aspect of that entertainment industry…a big one and a lucrative one…but also a very competitive one.

I know from my own experiences and lack of experiences in certain sports that this confidence is not just imagined.  Not only is it real it bleeds over into other areas of life.

As a child, I needed glasses but this need went undetected until I was nearly through high school.  My glasses corrected my vision and improved my depth perception.  I am convinced that because of these vision issues I had trouble with any kind of sport requiring any sort of eye hand coordination. 

On the other hand, I could excel at anything that required the use of my body to endure.  Consequently sports like distance running, cycling and swimming became my athletic endeavors. In fact, I was a competitive swimmer from the time I was eight until high school where I quit briefly only to pick it up again in college. While I never competed in college, I did work out with the swim team.  To this day, I’m very skilled and comfortable in the water.

This confidence around water bleeds over into other areas of my life.  I know that when it comes to water, docks, swimming, the ocean, I have none of the hang ups most people do.  I also know I can kick most men’s butts in the water.  A 250 pound man who could easily put me in a half nelson and render me helpless on dry ground hasn’t a chance if we’re in water over his head. But let’s not even go there.

Conversely, if a moving object is thrown at me, instead of catching it, I will duck.  Every time.  I lack confidence there.  And, I’m less coordinated in that aspect. Not that I care, in fact I don’t, but I think it is an interesting observation.  My last ex grew up playing sports that used balls and rarely swam, ran or cycled.  He’s adept on the basketball court or on the football field but he’s a complete wuss in the lake without a life jacket, inflatable toy and tow rope.

Many of us have experienced the deflating feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing that it is clearly time to stop eating or start buying bigger sizes.    Packing around extra weight makes me feel lethargic, more easily tired and less confident in my appearance.  And for one, who spends her life “up front”, looking decent is important.  More importantly maintaining a high energy level and self-confidence is critical.  I manage all of my life better when I am in shape and looking my best, because at these times I’m also feeling my best. Sadly, none of this has anything to do with my superbly brilliant mind which doesn’t change much regardless of the reading on the scale.

It’s just interesting how we develop confidence based on what we are able to do or not do physically.  The same holds true in academic areas, though as children this is not so pronounced.  Even as adults, most of the world bows to the beautiful and fit body instead of the brilliant mind.

These are all just interesting observations for me, as for about the 4th time now in my life (one for each child I have) I endeavor to get back into shape and shrink my body size, weight and percent body fat while increasing my strength, stamina, flexibility, coordination and overall fitness level. Only this time, I’m significantly older.

14 days into my fitness journey and I’ve lost 3 1/2 inches on my waist, 2 inches on my hips, 8 pounds when Ichecked two days ago and clothes are noticeably baggier.  I’m starting to see more definition in all areas of my physique, though admittedly I still have work to do.  Even my children have noticed the reduction in the muffin top and back flab on their dear old mom. 

Funnier thing:  My 18-year-old couldn’t even keep up with the squat and lunge series in the workout tapes I was doing.  She was impressed.  “Mom!  You’re so athletic!”  Hmmm, no not really, just years of swimming, cycling and weight training coming back.  Thank God!  I fully expected to be hit with rigor mortis and pain as I tried to get back into it, but fortunately such is not the case.

With all this reduction in my life, the one thing that is increasing is my confidence.  The other thing is my strength.  The last thing is my energy. 

Hell yes, after 45, this old bod still has what it takes to operate at its best!  Demi Moore has nothing on me, except a lot more money! Oh yeah, and leeches!

 

Demi Moore vs. The Pear Bottom Queen

I had no idea Demi Moore was as old as she was!  Yep, that’s me, checking out the boob tube and flipping through channels one day (something I rarely do and must have been truly, desperately procrastinating on something else) when I landed on a Hollywood Top 25 Hottest Bodies countdown of some sort.  There was Demi, listed as being 46 years old, and looking, well, like they said….HOT! 

So, that got me thinking.  She, of course, has a personal trainer, a lot of money and a host of people making sure she looks great every time she goes out in public.  I do not have these things.  My personal philosophy is that with today’s modern technology and surgical advances, anyone can look as good or as badly as they want to if they have only two things:  a lot of money and an excellent photographer.  If you don’t agree, check out Michael Jackson’s before and after shots and take some time and sit through an entire season of America’s NextTop Model.  Hell, even one episode would do it.  You could see clearly that often, the most stunning models are really just very average looking women when you get them out of their designer clothing, take off the make up and get them away from their hairstylist and photographer. 

Even so, Demi Moore, being a stunningly attractive mid-40 year old woman, got me thinking.  First off, clearly the myth that the mid-40 female body can’t look as good as the 20-something year old body is just that a myth.  Then again, for most of us, to get our 20-something body back in our mid-40’s would require some surgery at least on two elements of our feminity.  Unless…we are gifted with girls that have effectively defied the effects of gravity and breastfeeding all these years.  For many of us (me excluded) having that surgery is becoming as common as having braces as a teenager.  So, once again, having that 20-year-old body till one is well into and pushing past their middle age years is becoming common place. 

For most women the  problem area  is in the lower extremities.  This is where we tend to pack on the weight and it is the most difficult area to remove the weight from once it has accumulated there.  I am no exception.  So, with a trip to San Francisco pending in less than 4 weeks and Demi’s hot mid-40 body as an encouragement I continue on my fitness quest for my own hot body (well, hotter than it already is).  

A few days ago, I reported that I succumbed to a television infomercial and bought a series of fitness videos claiming to give me amazing results in just six weeks.  Seriously?  You know the kind of infomercial I am talking about.  I’m telling you now that the infomercial did not lie and the money I spent, which wasn’t much was well worth it!  Hey!  Quit that worthless dating site you are on that is only hooking you up at deeper levels with people you can’t possibly have a relationship with because they live on the other side of the world and buy this program.  Get fit.  You’ll feel better about yourself.  Then go back on that worthless dating site and see what happens. 

It is working for me!  In twelve days I’ve lost an inch and a half off my waist, two inches off my hips.  I’m starting to see real definition in my arms and my stamina and energy levels are increasing daily.  Of course there is the improved balance, coordination and flexibility which are always important when engaging in certain other recreation pursuits…..like walking around. My kids are starting to notice.  My kids!!!  Seriously?  Who has kids who notice that their Mom’s back flab is melting away.  Really?  And, I haven’t even been pushing it as hard as I could be.  As for the diet?  I’m eating right, watching my portions and refusing to starve myself.  I still treat myself once a week to something indulgent.  I’m not hungry, tired, crabby or dealing with the yuck headache that I usually have when I “diet”. It’s because I’m not dieting.  I’m eating smart.

I did quit the worthless dating sites.  I want to quit feeling like I could take the Pear Bottom Queen Pageant hands down no contest.  I figured the money spent on me was more wisely invested than  paying to read emails from people I have no interest in meeting let alone corresponding with.  I want to see if this ole bod has what it takes to get that hottie bod the old fashioned way.  Eating right, working out, drinking lots of water, getting rest.  No surgeries, no costly consultants or personal trainers, no smoke and mirrors.  Just some strategically planned hard work and decent meal planning.  When I get done, I just might invest in that great photographer for that one fun photo shoot to prove that it can be done in spite of dealing with the mid-40 female body and corresponding metabolism issues.

So far so good.  I keep plugging away and pushing play!

 

Solutions To Summertime Sibling Squabbles

Here’s the deal.

Everytime I try to sit down and write these days the kids start fighting.  Well, not all of the kids.  Just the two youngest.   Number 3 and Number 4 have a highly developed feudal system going here and it is about to drive me right straight round the twist! 

Today, it was she grabbing the comic section out from under his nose as he was clearly reading it at breakfast.  Of course, this elicited a wail of outrage unbecoming of an almost 14-year-old and more representative of a 2-year-old’s response.

Then it was he telling me I wasn’t dealing harshly enough with her and that was after I sent her to her room and told her she could not go down the street to play with her friends, which really is the worst punishment possible for the social creature that she is.

I’ve worked on a million (it seems) posts in my mind, but when I get ready to put anything to print an uproar breaks out.  Normally, I just wait till the din subsides then I go sweep up dismantled body parts and carcasses and dispose of them in the garbage, but lately the din is unbearable and neither one is relenting in their quest for ulitmate dominion and aggravation of the other.

Currently, Number 3 is insisting that somebody cut his hair in the night.  No such thing happened.  I know this for a fact because I was up practically all night…or most of it…well certainly later than any of the kids were. His hair looks no different that it ever has.  In fact, it looks better right now than it usually does.

Now  he’s moaning  that his roller blades are a mess.  Of course, this would not be because he hasn’t maintained them, instead, it is because his younger sister maliciously destroyed them when he was gone for the weekend.  Like she had nothing better to do all weekend while her little girl friend from school was over.  Of course, what he’s doing worrying about the roller blades, when he’s been tasked with making his bed is anyone’s guess. 

I’m ready to run an ad in the paper:

TWO CHILDREN

Free to any home, good or not. 

Generous compensation for taking them off my hands. 

You’ll need the money to invest in a lifetime supply of migraine medicine or possibly Prozac or Valium.  Maybe all three.

Satisfaction is not guaranteed and no returns allowed. 

But, even though I’m tempted…I just can’t bring myself to do it.  After all, I just have too much menial labor to be done around this place and as long as they are going to complain about how bad their lives really are, I’m going to be certain they have something substantial to complain about.  If they keep it up, I may never have to do another housekeeping chore for the next ten years.  Plus, if nothing else, I can comfort myself with the knowledge that at least they are worth a tax credit at the end of the year.

This ought to be an enjoyable afternoon.  I’ll be out sunning myself while supervising two very naughty children who went to bed far too late after having far too much ice cream as they pull weeds, clip hedges, sweep walks and clean up.  So that’s what I get for bending the rules and attempting to be the “fun time mom”.  They just made sure that The Mom From The Black Lagoon returns.

If that doesn’t work, the toilets need scrubbing and the floors need to be mopped. 

There is also dusting, window washing, and a whole garage to clean out.  My cars could use some tidying up as well. Oh, and socks need to be sorted and matched.

I imagine they will be pretty cooperative after I get done with them.  If not cooperative, at least silent.

 

Workout Update

It’s been 5 days since I’ve officially (and for real) gotten after this workout thing. In my last post I mentioned how I’d gone about buying this supposedly “amazing” program that was going to make me into a bona fide hottie in six weeks. Even I was skeptical about the possibilities but I figured the approach was going to be the most viable one for me to get back in shape at this time.  So I caved to the infomercial, bought the videos and have been doing them devotedly for four days now.  The first day I went for a brisk 25 minute walk and then started the videos the next day. 

The first day of the video, I nearly died.  I was seriously questioning the reality of meeting my goals by the end of six weeks. 

The video wasn’t that tough (well, from an educated fitness person’s perspective, maybe but I couldn’t make it through completely without feeling it).  It was actually perfectly designed for people like me: out of shape but willing to exert some effort.  The exercises created adequate burn and there were enough (but not too many) repetitions. It’s a great set of videos!

I went for a 30 minute walk the same evening I did the first video.  Video in the a.m. and then walk in the evening. I also cut back my portions and started paying attention to the dietary makeup of my meals.  I didn’t change much.  I actually started eating more often and healthier, which is always a key.

Of course, alcohol in any shape or form or color is off limits. (This is no fun, but worth it!)  In a week or two I may add it in on a one drink once a week basis and not hard alcohol or beer.  Maybe…maybe white wine.  We’ll see.

Day Two the video was much easier to do.  I was able to keep up much easier, though the reverse lunges are still difficult for me.  I also went for a brisk 45 minute walk on that day.  I contined to watch my food intake.

Day Three the video was much easier and probably today I am going to move it up to the next level.  Yesterday, I didn’t go for a walk but did watch the food intake.

Here’s the really great news.  Last night, I decided just for fun to pull out the tape measure not expecting to see any results.  I put the tape measure around my hips and noted a 20 inch difference from my original starting point only four days ago.  I was stoked! Then I realized I was measuring from the wrong end of the tape measure.  Rats!

Even so, I am pleased to report that only four days into this thing and I’m recording a solid one inch decrease around my hips and my waist.  And that is with using the tape measure correctly, without dietary meal replacement supplements, without feeling hungry and without headaches, grumpiness, or fatigue that so often accompanies a change in fitness level and diet.  Further, this one inch decrease is occurring at the time when I usually record a one inch gain and am at my most bloated each month.

Go figure!

This is pretty awesome so far!

 

Finally Getting After That New Year’s Resolution to Get In Shape!

I’m the kind of personality that likes to (when I can) decide quickly and act even more quickly so that I can “arrive” at the destination and enjoy the end goal.  I’m the kind that hates the fact that a house always looks better the day you move out than it ever did when you were in it and I really work to achieve the goals and enjoy the results of having achieved them. I don’t necessarily enjoy achieving a goal, for the sake of achieving it. Instead, I like to take some time to enjoy the fruits of my labor.  In the past, this has led me to want to decide quickly and move swiftly so I can enjoy the results of my efforts rather that get stymied in the process.  

As I’ve matured or maybe just as my life has grown more complex, it seems more difficult to decide quickly and act swiftly.  Life is bigger and more involved now than it was when I was 25.  I have more people to consider than just myself when making decisions.  I also know that the smallest tweak in lifestyle can have ripple effects that impact many more than just myself. I can’t simply make a quick decision and act on it like I used to.  I’ve become more cautious in approaching change and more deliberate in working toward my goals.  Not that I like this, but I have become this way, because I simply am unable to do/be otherwise. I no longer have the time and energy and resources to fight all the fires on all the fronts at once.  I’ve had to pick and choose between fires and fronts and the ones that usually got placed on the bottom of the priority list were the ones that were mine alone.  Priorities, like making it to the gym got shoved to the bottom of the list when a child would tell me as I’m getting my workout gear together, “I have to be at rehearsal across town in 30 minutes.”   So much for a two hour workout for me.

It is kind of appalling to me that if I were in the same condition now, that I was when Number 4 was conceived, I’d be sharing jeans with my 18-year-old daughter.  I’m no longer content with the fact that I should be wearing her jeans, but can’t, and I’ve finally fought enough of the other fires in my life, that I’m ready to turn full dedication to this one for myself.  Everyone who’s ever been this route before knows the journey is the most difficult when you first begin.  Maintaining it once I’ve gotten over what I call the lifestyle change hurdle, is going to require dedication but it won’t be nearly as difficult as simply committing to making it happen. 

I know I’m making myself sound like a completely enormous walking human watermelon, which is not the case.  It is true that while I look great and people compliment me often, I don’t look my best.  I don’t feel my best and my body isn’t performing to it’s best ability.  I’m not in my best condition.  While others would never guess it to look at me, I have some pounds to lose and a lot more than most would guess, but I have even more muscle to firm and that’s my real goal.  I don’t just want to look great, I want to have my body be able to perform.  I really am a bit weary of feeling like I’m the next hip replacement accident ready to happen. 

But that all changed this week.  The day after my birthday which was last Saturday, I saw this great infomercial for a series of video workout tapes.  Okay, I never do this, but I have enough sports fitness training to know that what these people were claiming was reasonable and do-able if I were diligent.  I also know that getting to the gym where I have to leave the house and four kids alone for two hours is not a reality right now for me and it hasn’t been for over a year.  I also know that working out alone at home, while I have all the knowledge and equipment to do so, simply won’t happen because I need someone pushing me even if it is a stupid video saying, “C’mon. 8 more!”  It just happens that I’m in the worst state of fitness in my life and getting back to the level I was when Number 4 was conceived might not be as easy as it once was.  I know I need to do something a little more guided and structured but I can’t make a commitment to go to a class at a gym due to my current kid situation.   It didn’t hurt either, that these folks were claiming pretty dramatic changes in only six weeks and I have a big date in 5 weeks that I want to be really looking great for.  No, wait, better than great! Plus, I want to surprise everyone when I go back to work in the fall by being a shadow of my former self.  And again, I just want to feel more energetic. This program, if nothing else, would be the catalyst for change that I needed and if I called in the next 18 minutes, the cost was really reasonable….how could I pass up this amazing opportunity?!

I watched the infomercial only halfway through before I picked up the phone and placed the call.  Seriously?!  I so don’t do this stuff, but the commercial was excellent! Of course, they are designed to be! They showed enough of the workout program that I could tell that what they were promoting would actually work and that I could do it.  Of course, the caveat is that I have to do it and I have to change my eating habits!  I can and will do this!  I placed the order and waited. 

Here’s the fun part.  The order arrived earlier than the 5-7 business days the company promised and the materials, meal plans, and videos are exactly what they said they’d be.  I did the first video today and for a solid 20 minutes I felt a great burn in places I haven’t felt anything in for a long time. (Okay, keep it out of the gutter, we are talking fitness here and not necessarily that particular kind!)  

While I’m embarrassed to admit that 8 years ago that video would have been like nothing to me, it was a good workout for me to begin with today.  The videos are quality and deliver on everything they promised in the infomercial.  The added bonus is that they are adaptable to my fitness level and can be modified up or down in intensity as I need in order to address those natural plateaus that we experience along the fitness journey. In addition, I’m following their meal plan which is based around food that is real and not stuff that comes in a powder form or is processed.  I will probably cave and buy a couple of their meal-replacement shakes/supplements on payday, but none of that is required for success of the program.

I’m pretty stoked.  I’d show the before pictures (yes, I really did take three of them in a bikini) but only one person is going to see those and that’s only if I meet my goals in the allotted 6 weeks.  And I’m so determined to do it. 

 Just you wait and see if I don’t!

 

Downsizing, De-Cluttering & Simplifying to Reduce Stress

This summer is turning out much differently than I’d planned.  This isn’t to say that’s a bad thing, but it is turning out very differently than I’d imagined and I’m just not sure what to make of it. It feels in a way like I’m fighting circumstances a bit too much and I need to just deal, but if I let too much of my summer go, it will be back-to-school time and  I’ll be returning to the insane schedule that most single working moms with four kids have.  Plus, I have a fun vacation planned in San Francisco for six days (yay! some adult time for me!) and I want to have my projects done before then.  I’ve sort of placed a timeline on myself and it already seems as though my summer is flying by.  It is very difficult for me right now, not to feel rushed and like I’m already running out of time.  It’s a weird feeling, especially when I get off the phone with a friend this afternoon who says, “I’m really looking forward to this summer!”  My thought was, “Wow!  I feel like it is already half over!”  Maybe it is because the projects I’ve chosen to accomplish are taking much longer than I anticipated.    

I started tackling some of the home improvement jobs on my New Year’s Resolutions list right away after school let out.  The “Clean Out The Master Bedroom Project” which was only supposed to take me about a day or so, took me 5 days.  The painting took one day, with trim still to be done and the putting it all back together took a day.  In all nearly a two week project.  Worth it, because I did go through EVERYTHING! I was ruthless!  I kept nothing I hadn’t used and painstakingly sorted through each paper, organized my filing system, shredded big black 32-gallon sized garbage bags of paper and filled my garage with items for a garage sale we will have in two weeks.  And, the garage sale is happening two weeks later than I originally wanted it to happen, but that’s the story of my summer already. Summer should be 40 weeks and Winter should be 12.

Concurrently with this project, I initiated the process of moving my two older girls into a bedroom together which allows my youngest daughter to have her own room.  Four kids in a four bedroom house means someone is going to always have to share a room. When you have three girls and one boy, it is pretty much guaranteed that the boy doesn’t have to worry about this. Now that the oldest is going to college and will not  be around, moving the two older girls together means that Number 2 and Number 4 will have their own rooms during the school year. It also means that Number 1 is made sufficiently uncomfortable as to not be tempted to boomerang back home after launching.  (You see, I do have my strategies!)

It seems crazy but the smallest thing like a room change of this kind along with downsizing the stuff and painting my own room (why is it the Mom’s bedroom is always the last to get beautified?), is going to have the biggest impact on my life and my home.  For starters, my youngest daughter can go to bed and actually go to sleep in her own room instead of in mine.  When she shared a room with an older sister who is up later doing homework and texting friends, it was tough to have the 8-year-old go to bed in the room she shared with a 15-year-old sister.  This means, I have my room back!  That alone is a benefit.  Every mom needs her privacy once in a while!  For me, this downsizing thing I’m going through means a lot more space in my room now that the home office is out in the common areas of our home and taking up a fraction of the space it occupied in my bedroom. I no longer have the space to just dump a pile of papers, so I am forced to go through stuff daily and shred what I don’t need and deal with what I must deal with instead of putting it off till the paper pile is sliding in heaps on the bedroom floor when I walk by.  Downsizing the stuff is impacting the rest of my life positively.

If clutter creates stress, and for me it really does, then I’ve already taken huge steps to de-stress my life with these two projects.  I’m already sleeping better at night and things seem to be operating so much more smoothly with far less effort than before.  I no longer have that big pile of “stuff I need to deal with” haunting me when I close my eyes at night.  It is a great feeling.  Dump the junk, feel better!  Working for me!

 Now, if I could only get caught up on the laundry!!!!

 

I’m Officially the Mum of a College Student

It’s official!  I am now the proud parent of a Willamette University student, and I even have the car decal to show for it.  It came in the mail today in an envelope addressed to me and to her dad.  I do not understand why organizations do this.  We are divorced.  Our names are different.  When she applied to the school my daughter listed each of her parents as living at separate addresses.  Why can’t they note this and send the information to two separate addys?  I don’t get it. 

I’m not going to worry about it though.  I gladly opened the envelope and promptly peeled the decal off the backing and stuck it right in the center of the rear window of my nicest vehicle.  Hey, I was in labor with her for almost 18 hours.  I figure I’m entitled.   Don’t I feel important now that I have my very own car decal?!  You bet I do!

In a very small way it signifies a transition for me as I move from having all my kids at home and completely dependent upon me to beginning to launch my children from the nest.  Now, where did I hide that catapult?

 

My Tour Of Duty In Computer Hell

Into every life some Computer Hell must happen and I suppose it is my turn.  Kind of like jury duty, my number to experience computer difficulties has come up.  I’ve successfully stalled such problems for about two years, but now, finally, I think the end has arrived and I can no longer dodge my rightful tour of duty in Computer Hell. 

 About a month ago I was working on the kids’ desktop computer.  This is an old eMachine computer that was purchased nearly 8 years ago.  It was obsolete, easily 5 years ago.  Even so, the computer has managed to get us through and keep the kids connected far longer than expected.  This is due in part to my brother and his wife being pretty technologically savvy and actually possessing skills in rebuilding computers.  However, the thing finally gave up the ghost when I was surfing last month and it got a little too friendly with a deadly Trojan virus which apparently my system is not protected against.  There’s no doing anything with that computer now. At least, not with my level of expertise and my pocketbook’s status there isn’t. 

That’s how my own laptop which is over 4 years old came to be the household computer. This one is nearing the end of it’s usefulness too, because it no longer has the power or the memory to load pages quickly or to have more than one on two pages open at a time.  If I’m on Facebook, forget it.  Everything stops.  The most recent episodes of computer hell have involved me pressing a button to open and email and waiting in excess of a minute for the email to load.  Yesterday, the computer overheated on me and completely shut down.  I just walked away and did something else.

The kids need a computer with a printer that works for their homework projects.  I need one, preferably that I don’t share with them because then I’d never be on it, so I can begin doing some serious writing in the hopes of someday really publishing something instead of forever just talking about it. Sigh.

A good friend of mine purchased a new laptop for me for my birthday, but through a fun little miscommunication it ended up in Australia instead of North America.  The same friend has promised to take a look at my old laptop and see if there is anything he can do to salvage it and the printer.  I’m fairly confident that my tour in Computer Hell will be fairly short in duration.

 It all does explain why I haven’t written regularly lately.

 

Step Away From My Boobs…

This just in, “grabbing boobs” was a search term used by someone who ended up here!  Well, okay, what ever works.  Just step away from the boobs and no one gets hurt.  They aren’t pictured here anyway so searching for them will get you nowhere and if you dare try grabbing them you’ll get both my black stilettos in each of your eyes.  Don’t think I can’t do it!

 

Swimming and Boobs?

Well, this is interesting.  I was checking out the search terms on my blog to see what people were searching for that led them to me.  Most of them were pretty obvious: regalia, swimming pools, home improvements, summer parties, painting a red wall.  These are all along the lines of the stuff I write.  PG-13 at the worst, usually PG, family related divorce recovery stuff that any divorced parent could relate to.  I hope.  But today, the very first search term listed was “swimming + boobs”. 

Seriously?! 

I know they reached me because of the swimming part and not the boobs part.  If there is a mention of swimming and boobs on this blog (before now) I really want to know about that because it sounds like it could be some great reading and I missed it.

Now look what I’ve done.  I’ve made certain that anyone searching for “swimming + boobs” will be drawn to my site.  LOL!   They will be sorely disappointed, I’m afraid. 

Sorry for those of you looking for something more interesting to “view”.  This is just a bland little mommy blog and not even a very good one at that so click away to the next “big” things.  You won’t find any here.