As you know, I have a stepdaughter and the “parenting plan” we have is 50/50 everything, week on week off. I put it in parenthesis because we do not have it legalized through the courts, luckily we have never gotten that far, close, but not all the way there. And it didnt have to go through the courts, because they were never married. We have had it wk on wk off for 5 years now. Before that we had my SD 3-4 overnights a week. We all like having the wk on wk off. My SD adjusted to it fine and now at the age of 7 enjoys her time at each house and near the end of the week is prepared and ready to see the other half of her family. It has provided her stability in the fact that she knows, this week I am at my moms and this week I am at my dads. She has clothes, toys, and siblings at both homes. And if she is asked, she tells people, quite proudly actually, that she has two homes and two sets of parents. Both her mother and I volunteered in her Kindergarten class, and her dad and step dad went on field trips. In addition, the dads are Elise’s soccer coach and assistant coach. Before kindergarten we lived about an hour and a half away from each other, and we drove to a half way meeting point every week to meet for the switch off. We all came to a joint decision to live in the city we are, so we could continue the wk on wk off situation while Elise attends school. We are all proud of how well it has worked out and how we all get along. Heck, I talk to my SD’s mom more than I talk to any of my long time friends. We have become very very good friends.

Of course, it wasnt always this happy or easy. We did have our tough times and my husband had to go to mediation a few times. There was alot of fighting and tension. But as you stated in your post, we put our daughter’s needs ahead of our own and thought about what was best for her. And spending an equal amount of time with both sets of parents was the best thing for her! She was very attached to all of us from the beginning, (I met her when she was a tiny one year old) and we felt if she was to spend less time with any sets of parents, it would be detrimental to her.

We actually have come to realize, alot of families are doing the week on week off situation. It works for us and our daughter, even when all her parents weren’t on the best of terms. Of course, if a parent was abusive or the child was in danger, it would not have worked, but thankfully, that doesnt exist in our situation. I am proud of how we all get along and we have often said Dr Phil would be proud of us…hahaha. We should write a book.

Just my 2 cents on children of divorce/seperated parents.